AND I THOUGHT I WAS A CHRISTIAN!

I have known for a long time that I am a Christian and didn't mind saying so. I was always quick to add that I couldn't quote bits from the Bible but I just knew; that from a feeling deep inside my chest, I knew that God was in my life. I would also say that I felt that often I was only one step ahead of the children at Sunday School. For a very long time I could accept this but over recent years felt that this situation should be changing!

About this time last year I noticed something in our parish magazine which said "What is this Faith of Yours?" it was an article about the Bishop's Course. Well that said it all, what is this faith of mine? I joined up and am just coming to the end of a year on the course and I feel that I have learnt so much, met so many new people and really begun to grow as a Christian.

We have discussed passages from the Bible, church life, the state of the world both now and over past times; all done in such a safe caring environment. Even when people shared different views, there was still the deep respect for each other and we were able to accept that we don't agree all the time and we can respect each other's viewpoints. And actually, what's new? Things have been like this forever that doesn't matter just because their views are not the same as our own doesn't necessarily mean that either is wrong.

At the beginning of the course we realised how good it is to get out side of our own church, to mix with other Christians, not only Anglicans, and share. I think that we all felt that we could go back to our own churches renewed, refreshed? I don't know what really. A bit like at the Prayer Groups re the Love to Give; we weren't JUST praying, we were looking at the Bible and sharing our thoughts and our feelings and it felt good!

On Saturday 17th June 1995, I attended a day out at a beautiful place near Tarporley called Tirley Garth. There we were able to look at things that we could do in Year Two of the Bishop's Course if we so wished. There are so many things on offer but you don't have to do any of it if you don't want to.

I think that a big message for me has been "Tell people about your Faith, don't just preach to the converted." Take God everywhere with you: to the shops, to work everywhere. For most of us going to church on Sunday should be just a part of being a Christian.

We need to be a Christian in the outside world as well as in our own church. We don't have to be dead clever and know lots and lots (although we can acquire knowledge and skills in all sorts of ways Bishop's Course, Cursillo, Study Groups etc.) but just to be ourselves and to be ordinary! We are not all called to stand on street corners and tell the world "The Good News!!" But we do need to make a conscious effort to DO something.

Also this year, as part of my yearning to know more about this faith of mine, I went away on a Cursillo weekend. I didn't know what to expect (neither did Malcolm, as this is something we have been able to do together). That really seemed to change our lives; we both felt that. Again, as on the Bishop's Course, we were with like-minded people, Christians, some ordained some not and from all types of backgrounds. I have never ever in my whole life felt so secure or surrounded by so much UNCONDITIONAL love; the sort of love that we as Christians know is like Gods love for us. We prayed, we sang, we had a series of very interesting talks and we could just be ourselves; it was an amazing experience, I can't find words to describe it. I feel that it took me so close to God My Father and gave me a glimpse of Heaven. It filled me full of hope. We Christians aren't sinking fast! We can have heaven on earth. We must just hang on to the fact that we must love one another unconditionally, and trust and have faith in each other because until there is peace in our own hearts there will never ever be peace in the world and we will never be able to have heaven on earth.

Sadly Malcolm and I have had to come back to the real world and all its difficulties but we have to hang on to what we Christians shared at Cursillo. We mustn't become despondent, we mustn't give up hope. Remember the glimpse of heaven and keep hanging on---nobody said that being a Christian would be easy. We've all heard that before I think!

I really thought that I was a Christian before but now I feel different. I don't know what it is, perhaps it's that I am more of a practising Christian; really trying to practise what I preach and believe to be Gods way!

I come back to my deep-down feelings. I just felt that I had to share my experiences with you; my wanting to know more about "This Faith of Mine" over the past twelve months and the effects it has had on me. I wish I had felt this 'yearning to know' years ago but perhaps this is the way, Gods way, that it had to be for me.

PS: Another common thread throughout my last years experience is: we think that we have chosen God but actually HE has chosen us, warts and all; He knows all there is to know about us and He still chooses me and you!!

Alice Brown

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